Highs and Lowd

Recovering well getting stronger again so that's great. Steves been home all this week and we really have had a lovely time altogether. We have had highs and lows but sharing the lows is always easier. On Tuesday Callum had his medical photos taken which left us feeling rather fed up, its not a nice thing to have to do but of course it will benefit Callum in the long run. They have sent the photos off and we now have to wait for the 5 specialists to get together and look at them and see what they come up with.
On Wednesday we took the boys to a big soft play place, they had a cafe so I was able to rest there while Steve played with the boys. We took them to the toddler part as soon as we got there as we thought they could play together in there. As soon as we got in there I suddenly realised that this would not work with Callum, I sat him down and was surrounded by lovely children, younger and older than callum crawling, walking, talking and interacting with each other and tears started rolling down my face, it was so heart breaking to see my darling son so isolated and helpless I have never felt so awful, I felt guilty almost for taking him there. Ronnie was having a great time which is what we want of course but it's ever so hard as they are brothers and I wanted them to do this together. In the end we decided that Callum could stay with me in his pushchair and Steve would take Ronnie for a big play up. Callum and I had a lovely time together playing with his rattles and things, he likes it if I put something on his head and laughs when it falls off! It's just I feel he is so isolated at the moment and separate from other things. Yes he is happy which I am so grateful for its just not what I had planned for, but all the time with Callum we realise that we have to adapt things to suit him and we will. I think not knowing what the future holds or indeed what the reason for all of his problems is makes it tougher all round. On a Positve note I couldn't ask for a more fantastic husband who makes all of this bearable, his support is fantastic Callum ronnie and I are so lucky to have him xxx